My daughter is not an animal at the zoo
By Christina Herbers
We saw pandas! We saw lemurs! We saw bears and zebras and hippos.
We were just a family visiting the zoo.
And then we heard it: “Mom, I don’t like her face.” And, “Dad, what is that face?” And we saw you shooing your kids away from us, as if we were somehow contagious. And oh, the staring!
Yep, this still happens to us. In fact, it happened on our summer family trip to the Calgary zoo.
On a brighter note, there was an older man who came up to my husband and shook his hand. He told him that the umbrella that we use to shade my daughter Jaina’s eyes from the sun had shifted, and that her eyes were in the sun. To him, I say thank you. Thank you for not being afraid of us. Thank you for seeing us. Thank you for holding a door open for us. Thank you for teaching your kids and grandkids that it’s okay to talk to us!
Questions are a natural part of human behaviour. So maybe it’s not your children's questions that are the problem, but that you don't want to hear the answers?
How can your child know the answer to “what is that face?” if you don't ask me? If you ask, I will tell you about the car accident we were in when I was pregnant with Jaina. She isn't able to move her face that well because of her brain injury. She isn't able to smile. She isn't able to close her mouth. She suffered from a brain injury before she was born.
She has always been this way.
She is also mellow and calm and quiet.
Talking about why my daughter is different from the rest of us may be natural for your kids, but please know that we hear you. Respect us.
Teach your kids that we are all different. Different colours, sizes, genders, sexual orientations, ages, beliefs and abilities. Teach your kids that it’s okay to be different. I can’t think of any two people who are exactly the same. Can you? Even the pairs of identical twins that I know who look the same have their own individual personalities.
Please don’t treat my daughter like a caged animal at the zoo. Don’t stare and comment and point and judge. Talk to us. Ask your questions, and take the time to listen to our answers.
Let’s work on seeing each other for who we really are. Because in the end, aren’t we all just people, trying to make it through this journey called life?
Share your thoughts below. I’d love to hear from you!
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