PARENT TIPSHEET: Supporting Siblings

Tips

Reasons

How-to

Provide information about the diagnosis or medical condition

• Provides knowledge of what the disability or medical condition is and what to expect
• Helps to reassure the sibling and helps them to answer the questions they get from others

• Give clear, age appropriate information and explanations
• Make sure sibling understands that no one is to blame for their sibling’s disability
• Help sibling find ways to explain the disability to their peer

Encourage open family discussions about siblings’ feelings and concerns

• Allows siblings to talk about both positive and negative feelings
• Provides a chance to talk about ways to handle stressful events such as: stigma, bullying, peers and public reactions

• Recognize child’s feelings and concerns
• Expect and acknowledge that child may have different emotions related to their sibling’s disability, and that it’s okay
• Try to share your time equally between your children

Set reasonable expectations for all of your children in the family

• Allows each sibling to learn and get involved when they are ready
• Helps your sibling child to reflect on similarities and differences to their sibling with a disability
• Prevents sibling from feeling like they have to somehow achieve for their sibling with a disability
• Helps teach independence in the child with a disability so that each child can be an individual

• Ask each child what they think you can expect from them – include them in the process
• Understand that each child has different strengths and needs
• Make sure that you give clear and reasonable expectations to ALL of your children (including the child with the disability)
• Recognize the accomplishments of each child
• Provide ongoing support to all of your children and keep the door open to conversation
• Explain that expectations can change and evolve

Allow and encourage siblings to be children

• Siblings are children too and need time to play and live their own lives
• Prevents too much responsibility put on child to have to care for their sibling with a disability
• Allows them to see the importance and value of taking time for themselves
• Helps your sibling child to develop their own identity and interests

• Make sure there is dedicated time that is just for the sibling (whether it is time with their friends or time with you)
• Do not expect your sibling child to take adult roles, but rather discuss different roles in the family at a time that is dedicated for a conversation like this one
• Do not make child think that they will be the only one responsible for the sibling with a disability in the future

Find appropriate ways to have siblings take part in caring for the child with a disability

• Your child can provide valuable ideas
• Your child is an important member of the sibling with a disability’s care team
• Siblings will be in the lives of the sibling with a disability longer than anyone else

• Share up-to-date information in a simple way with your child so that they can help to make family decisions
• Encourage your child to observe their sibling with a disability in therapy or in a learning setting
• Prepare your child for changes in home life before they happen

Provide appropriate supports to siblings

• Your child will share many of the same concerns as parents of children with disabilities, but also have their own concerns or worries as siblings of children with disabilities
• Provide child with the chance to discuss feelings with other siblings in the community - which may be difficult to talk about to the family
• Many siblings often grow up without resources to support them
• Siblings need the same kind of peer support that parents get from parent support groups
• Siblings need to understand that it is okay to take care of themselves as well

• Ask siblings if they want to meet other siblings of people with disabilities and let them decide if this is something that they want
• If the child does not want to join a group yet, keep the door open to discuss it when they’re ready
• Provide opportunities for child to get support – going to Sibling workshops or Young Carers Program if they wish
• Let teachers know what is happening so that they can provide the appropriate supports to all your children
• Model self-care as a parent